There are mixtures of feelings that come with these things I do. Trepidation, for one – am I going to mess up? Am I going to forget what I was going to say? Will my theology fall to pieces? Excitement – how fortunate am I to be the one to get to share these stories with the children, with the people! Happiness when things go alright and nobody tells me I’m inordinately wrong or that the hula hoop analogy was a total flop.
In general, it’s a joy to do these things when I get the chance. But, what’s next?
There must be more.
The Call never leaves; the yearning to answer the Call never lessens. Where is The Voice asking me to go? Could it be that ordination was never the way I was to go?
Of late, I’ve been pondering the possibilities of pursuing my D. Min. at a seminary that offers online/hybrid classes. How such a thing would be paid for is a mystery, though, since I am slowly paying off an extremely large student loan debt as it is.
I had a set of dreams this week, two days in a row. They were dreams about passing on the Wisdom of the Ancients to younger generations; dreams of sharing the blessings of tradition and story with others who hunger for knowledge and spiritual wholeness.
These were not simply dreams, but lucid experiences. They meant something.
I will continue to ponder the messages of my dreams to discover the expectation of my destiny.
In the meantime, I will continue to do these things that feed my soul, and with the Grace of God, feed others as well.
I ask you, are you pursuing that which feeds your soul? Do you hear your Call? Lean your ear, attend to your dreams.