A Bit of a Rebel

“Yet, I am not a rebel.  I do not seek to stand in the pulpit and call people to defy the denomination.  All I seek is to share the love of God for ALL of God’s people.  I understand God’s people to be ALL people.  I cannot, in good conscience, declare Christians to be the only people of God, nor can I declare Jesus to be the only Incarnation.  Though he may be the Incarnation of God’s Presence that I follow, I believe his message was to all people, in all times, in all cultures and in all walks.  God is Love.  Love transcends denomination, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual preference, culture, and ALL other boundaries.  This is what I want to bring to the world – Love that transcends.  As I think about this, I realize.  I have Lost Church, Found Jesus!”

This paragraph comes from a blog I have since removed from my page, because, well, the first sentence is absolutely true.  I am not a rebel.  The original piece was rather rebellious.  I was seeking to explain – to myself and others – the reason I withdrew from a program I had once thought myself called into.  I wrote a few things that perhaps I should not have done.  I hurt a few people I didn’t intend to hurt.  Do I take back what I said?  Do I say I didn’t mean it?  No.  I wrote the truth of my heart.  My regret is that I shared a little too much of personal conversation, perhaps unnecessarily.  I believe I came across as denigrating a church I love, though I am uncomfortable with certain aspects of it.  I disagree with certain tenets.  I am not alone in those disagreements.  I do not apologize for laying them on the table.  I apologize only for writing anything that was hurtful to other individuals, people I respect and care about, both in the blog and in comments on social media.  I’ve certainly never meant to be hurtful or inappropriate.  People who know me must certainly understand that.  I often assume everyone understands my context.  That’s very immature and naïve of me.

Of course, I haven’t “lost church.”  Not really.  If I did, it was temporary.  It wasn’t long after leaving that path that my friend and mentor The Rev. SonsirisTamayo held out her hand and led me to the Universal Anglican Church.  The UAC is open, affirming, and transcendent.  It is a denomination of Christ’s church, yet it is more than that, just as Christ is more than the man Jesus.  The UAC accepted me, with my Neo-Pagan/Wiccan history, my liberal Claremont School of Theology education, my Methodist childhood, my love of John Wesley, and my rather Universalist outlook.  It is because Bishop Craig and the other Bishops and leaders of the UAC have accepted and supported me that I am able to begin the ministry of St. Brigid in the Desert, albeit slowly.  I have not forgotten the support I have received from the United Methodist Church.  I will never forget the assistance and encouragement I continue to receive from many in that denomination, particularly in the Desert Southwest Conference.

During the time I was in discernment for the UMC, I alternately felt absolutely sure I was in the right place and completely confused about where I stood within the “system.”  I wanted to be totally authentic, open, and honest, but never knew for sure if the totally authentic me was acceptable.  I’m not sure I ever found out.  Or, maybe I did.  There were a few times at the end where I misunderstood what was expected of me.  When my errors in judgment were pointed out to me, it was too late.  In retrospect, I’ve come to realize that I am often unclear because my word choices are too ambiguous.   When I am told something, I don't repeat it back to be absolutely certain I know what has been said.  I think perhaps it's because I’ve been afraid of not being good enough.

Of course, I am good enough.  I’m just not perfect.  Not yet, anyway.  The leadership in the UAC saw enough potential in me to trust me to start a ministry in Arizona.  They saw enough to fly me to Milwaukee for ordination. I think they recognized my Call.  It is similar to so many of theirs.  Having seen so many people disenfranchised by the church for many different reasons, we want to reach out to them.  Some of us have either been hurt by the church or felt unwelcome in church, as I did for many years before I joined Gold Canyon United Methodist Church.  We understand why so many have left and will never go back to the traditional church.

So many of the disenfranchised seek a spiritual home, and there are many ways that we can be that for them.  God/dess is so much more than one religious tradition can possible incorporate.  We who are clergy in the UAC have experienced God’s touch in many ways, often in practices that are not traditionally “Christian.”  We are unafraid to bring traditions together in a revolutionary way.  We are all followers of Christ’s Way, in our own ways.  There are many like us who have discovered that God is not just in the church.  Instead of leaving the church, we want to bring the church back to those who couldn’t find the God they knew inside the old one.

In my original blog, I recognized that there are many individuals within the older denominations who are diligently working toward reform from within.  I respect and honor them.  I acknowledged that I could not do that.   I spent too many years outside the denomination, seeking my place in the River of God.

Here I am, a Priest in Christ’s Church, ordained by the Universal Anglican Church to serve those who need what I have to offer – God’s transcendent, immediate, unfettered Love.  I serve in many ways and in many places.  I serve in the workplace and in the streets; I serve in person and on the telephone.  I serve on hilltops in city parks and in living rooms and wedding chapels.  I serve wherever God calls me.  Sometimes, I even serve in the United Methodist Church.

I am truly sorry for anything I have said, done, posted, or otherwise manifested that hurt someone along my path.

Still, maybe I am a bit of a rebel after all.

Veto!

Today Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB 1062, the bill that consists of some rather ambiguously worded changes to an existing statute on religious freedom in Arizona.  The bill, whatever was intended by its writers, would have opened the door for discrimination against anyone or anything an individual or business felt was “against their religion.”  It wasn’t about the right to practice one’s religion.  It wasn’t about allowing others to practice their own religion.  It wasn’t about allowing the non-religious not to practice any religion.  It was about actively behaving against others whose practices were at odds with the individual/business/organization. 

While the bill became known as the “anti-gay” bill, there was actually nothing in the bill itself to indicate that the LGBTQ community was the intended target for “refusal to serve.”  However, because gay rights issues have been at the forefront of much activity lately, it was logical to interpret the bill as a doorway to further discrimination against gays.  What the news outlets either missed or ignored were the wide-reaching possibilities for discrimination against any number of people or groups of people.  In fact, while it seems that those who support this heinous piece of legislation are mostly fundamentalist or conservative Christians, there is something they missed.  If SB 1062 had survived, it could backfire against them, as well.  When it did, I wonder how fast they would run to the media crying “persecution?”

The good news is, of course, that Ms. Brewer finally vetoed the bill.  It seems to me she took an appallingly long time pondering the implications.  Nevertheless, she did veto.  With that out of the way, we who truly love freedom to worship or not worship however we feel called to do, can breathe easier.  I don’t think we can breathe a full sigh of relief, however.

Things are not good in the state of Arizona.  In fact, there are a number of places where things are not so good in the area of freedom to live in pursuit of happiness.  The very fact that there are seemingly intelligent people who would even come up with such legislation across the country tells me that there is something rotten going on.  Something that has been festering is trying to explode.  Lady Liberty is not well.

The rights for all people to love who they love, to worship as they feel called to worship, to live where they desire to live…all of these rights are at risk.  There is work to be done, and it’s overwhelming to think about what we can do about it all.  What can one person do?  What can a hundred people do?

This is only one issue that concerns me.  For years I’ve been concerned about climate change, sustainability, economic stability for individuals, and domestic violence, to name a few.  Over the years, I’ve believed in the adage “think globally, act locally.”  I still do.  We can affect others by the way we behave.  We can effect change, but only if we are consistent in our own behavior.  I haven’t always been consistent.  My actions haven’t always reflected what is truly important to me.  Over the years of my life, I’ve vacillated out of fear.  What I was afraid of is a mystery, even to me.

I’ve reached an age at which I can no longer be afraid.  If I want to effect positive change in the world, I have to stand on a strong foundation and speak the truth.  As the Priest-in-Charge of St. Brigid in the Desert UAC, it is imperative that I know who I am and what I am about.  I can tell you this.  One thing I am about is the true exercise of religious freedom.  It reaches beyond tolerance.  It is accepting the pluralist nature of the United States; indeed, of the world.  I am about the rights of loved ones to live their lives without fear of violence or discrimination.

Yes, today Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB 1062.  Good for her.  I think it’s time we vetoed a world in which an SB 1062 would even be drafted.  Let those of us who honor God/dess pray for such a world.

Let those who do not experience a divine being work side by side with those who do to create such a world.

Outraged!

I started writing a blog the other day.  It was a rather personal piece of writing - a sort of apology for certain things I’ve said or done in my ministerial pursuit that may have inadvertently been hurtful.  Misunderstandings and misconceptions, poor choices and broken promises; all good intentioned behaviors, but I was a bit naive.  A retrospective reveals the need for apologetics.  Another time.

While that blog is important, at least to me.  (In fact, it may only be important to me), there are more important things to address.  In the meantime, I realize it’s time for me to speak out from the pulpit, so to speak.  As a priest – as a pastor – as a human being – in Arizona, I cannot stand by as our legislators attempt to make injustice legal.  As just about everyone knows by now, SB 1062 is a bill intended to amend the religious freedom statutes in Arizona.  If the bill is passed, the statutes could be interpreted in such a way that it could allow individuals -- and businesses – to exercise their “freedom of religion” in ways that would be hurtful to others.  Business owners could refuse to do business with people whose religious beliefs, cultural practices, or lifestyles are disagreeable to them based on their “religious beliefs.”

While there is nothing in the bill that outright states that one could discriminate against the LGBTQ community or any other group of people, it can be interpreted as such.  Of course, this bill has caused outrage.  I am outraged.  If this bill is passed, the state of Arizona will have taken a big step backwards.  Though it has generally been declared an “anti-gay” bill, I think it’s more than that.  While openly gay couples could easily be identified and discriminated against, it doesn’t seem too far-fetched to imagine that a Native American could be targeted because they might practice “Native American religion.”  It’s easy to imagine a person with a crucifix instead of an empty cross being told to leave an establishment owned by a fundamentalist literalist “Christian” because they believe Catholicism is Satanic. I have personally met individuals who are convinced that Catholics are of the devil.

Progressive Christians, fans of Monica Coleman, Marcus Borg, Dominic Crossan, or Bishop Spong might be forced out – I have been told by one person that “that Spong is the devil incarnate.”  And of course, my Wiccan and Pagan friends could be turned away at the door of an establishment owned by someone like this.  I could go on and on…bi-racial couples, single mothers or fathers, atheists…who knows where it could lead?

I hope Governor Brewer vetoes the bill.  I wish she had heard of it and instantly read it and took out her veto pen.  She’s taking some time to vacillate – which way should I go?  With the bigots or the rest of the people?  It’s been pointed out that this bill would be bad for the economy of Arizona.  Businesses won’t come, sports events will stay away, thinking people will move away.  To me, that’s not the real reason to veto the bill, but it’s a good start.  Arizona is becoming known as a “hate state.”  It’s gotten to the point that if one loves activism and gets their energy for life by “fighting for the right,” Arizona is the place to be.  There’s plenty to fight against here.  And to fight for.

St. Brigid in the Desert is a church for everyone.  I mean EVERYONE.  If you seek a spiritual home and your favorite outfit is a homemade replica of a 1950’s robot, you will find a home with us.  If you are a member of a mainline Protestant church, but are seeking a place where the Feminine Divine is celebrated and honored, you will find a home with us.  If you are a Wiccan, but love the Jesus who taught justice and righteous indignation for injustice, you will find a home with us.  If you are a Buddhist with Christian tendencies, or a Christian with Buddhist tendencies, you will find a home with us.

Our home is in the connection of our hearts most of the year right now.  We meet approximately 8 times per year in different places, usually in nature.  One day, St. Brigid in the Desert will have a place to call our own, but for now, we are a fully, even radically inclusive, open-door church.  Watch for opportunities to worship with us.

In the meantime, stand with us against injustice.  Demand that Governor Jan Brewer veto SB 1062 and any other legislation that opens to door to hate.  Watch other states as some of them attempt the same kind of legislation.  Stop it before it happens again.  Our great civil rights leaders and those who gave their lives to the freedom of others shall not have lived and died in vain.

For the past few days, since this bill has become the subject of the evening news every day, I have been thinking of this scene from the classic cult film Billy Jack.  It makes me want to cry.

But let us be hopeful.  Let us speak up.  Let us work against hatred and prejudice.